A crowd is dancing
Drinks are spilling
They say his name
Forget their own
There’s room to breathe
As he leaves
The room is hazy
Lights start to fade
The show is over
They wait for one more song
Month August 2015
Still trying
He was trying. He felt he was in a constant state of trying. But he didn’t plan on giving up. It wasn’t in his nature. He’d keep trying until the All Mighty told him to stop. This time he was trying to find his way out of the fog. It was only a breakup but it felt like a death. It was the pain of a death. He supposed that something had died in a sense…his relationship. But that seemed so trivial and made the pain incomprehensible. It hurt way too much to simply be the end of a relationship. Perhaps because there was never a real end. He had found no closure. “I’ll call you.” She said. But she never did. He waited. In between waiting he tried to go on with his life as usual. Now he was trying to find his way back to the living. A part of him died when it all ended. Now he was trying to…continue reading
1:47pm
One more day
Everything is green
Summer is all in bloom
Summer is ending soon
Rains are falling
Autumn’s calling
Touch and Scent
She is made of his touch and his scent
Her teeth are crooked her heart is bent
But with his arms around she becomes a saint
No more lies, no more taint
She is imperfect. She is untrue
But his love makes her see through
She strips her sins past her knees
Save me from myself, save me please
She is made of his touch and his scent
With each kiss her heart repents
Big Lies
She stared dumbfounded as she watched the last lie fall from his lips. Is he still pulling this crap with me? Does he still think I’m stupid enough to believe him? Truth is…he did. She’d been foolish for months. What was one more lie on top of so many others? It wouldn’t break her heart. It was already broken. Truth is…she was more angry at herself.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. She did feel ashamed. The biggest lies being told were the ones she told herself. Lies about how he’ll change. Just give him one more chance, or ten. Lies about how she was the only one. The others don’t have what we have. They don’t know him like I do. They don’t love him like I do. Lies about how he wasn’t using her. He leans on me because he needs me. He needs me. He needs me and I need him. Truth is…she lied to herself way more than he had ever lied to her….continue reading
12:57 am
I feel you
Hold tight
This is love
This ride might get rocky
It’s worth it if you love me
Merman
He is made of a fishtail and scales
Bright blue eyes, skin so pale
His love is a maiden with angel wings
From the bottom of the sea he hears her sing
She sings a song of everlasting love
She sings to him from up above
And though he knows they will never touch
He knows he loves her very much
He is made of a fishtail and scales
Bright blue eyes, skin so pale
10:15pm
Yesterday’s Tears
He is made of yesterday’s tears
And tomorrow’s fears
Past pains haunt him. They keep him at bay
He doesn’t understand why they won’t go away
Just let it go he recites
Trying to move forward with all his might
But still they creep into his present
All the memories that he’s grown to resent
He is made of yesterday’s tears
As he works his way through all his fears
Stronger than this
You’re stronger than this, she told herself. This is nothing. This is barely suffering. But the ache in her chest argued that notion. She congratulated herself for falling in love, but despised him for having succeeded in winning her heart because now he was gone and she was left with shattered pieces of what used to be her full self. She didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect someone like him to reach the cold dark corners of someone like her. For years, she kept her heart under lock and key but he had always been good at breaking and entering so why did she think her heart would be safe from him. She sighed, a long pained sigh. She missed him.
You’re stronger than this, she repeated to herself. This isn’t the end of the world. But it felt like her world was crashing all around her, as if a great bomb had been dropped which left her trying to maneuver through the ruins. She envied other girls who could suffer beautifully. They’d stylishly surrender to the pain, grieving and mourning, and looking perfect as they did it. She was a mess. She hadn’t showered in days. Her breath was practically toxic. Her hair in knots from the neglect. She pathetically let herself go maybe so her outside would mirror the unglamorous mess of her insides..continue reading
december's monologue 