12:17am

A crowd is dancing

Drinks are spilling

They say his name

Forget their own

There’s room to breathe

As he leaves

The room is hazy

Lights start to fade

The show is over

They wait for one more song

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Still trying

He was trying. He felt he was in a constant state of trying. But he didn’t plan on giving up. It wasn’t in his nature. He’d keep trying until the All Mighty told him to stop. This time he was trying to find his way out of the fog. It was only a breakup but it felt like a death. It was the pain of a death. He supposed that something had died in a sense…his relationship. But that seemed so trivial and made the pain incomprehensible. It hurt way too much to simply be the end of a relationship. Perhaps because there was never a real end. He had found no closure. “I’ll call you.” She said. But she never did. He waited. In between waiting he tried to go on with his life as usual. Now he was trying to find his way back to the living. A part of him died when it all ended. Now he was trying to…continue reading

Touch and Scent

She is made of his touch and his scent
Her teeth are crooked her heart is bent
But with his arms around she becomes a saint
No more lies, no more taint
She is imperfect. She is untrue
But his love makes her see through
She strips her sins past her knees
Save me from myself, save  me please
She is made of his touch and his scent
With each kiss her heart repents

touchandscent

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Big Lies

She stared dumbfounded as she watched the last lie fall from his lips. Is he still pulling this crap with me? Does he still think I’m stupid enough to believe him? Truth is…he did. She’d been foolish for months. What was one more lie on top of so many others? It wouldn’t break her heart. It was already broken. Truth is…she was more angry at herself.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. She did feel ashamed. The biggest lies being told were the ones she told herself. Lies about how he’ll change. Just give him one more chance, or ten. Lies about how she was the only one. The others don’t have what we have. They don’t know him like I do. They don’t love him like I do. Lies about how he wasn’t using her. He leans on me because he needs me. He needs me. He needs me and I need him. Truth is…she lied to herself way more than he had ever lied to her….continue reading

Merman

He is made of a fishtail and scales

Bright blue eyes, skin so pale

His love is a maiden with angel wings

From the bottom of the sea he hears her sing

She sings a song of everlasting love

She sings to him from up above

And though he knows they will never touch

He knows he loves her very much

He is made of a fishtail and scales

Bright blue eyes, skin so pale

merman

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Yesterday’s Tears

whitemalebrownhair

He is made of yesterday’s tears
And tomorrow’s fears
Past pains haunt him. They keep him at bay
He doesn’t understand why they won’t go away
Just let it go he recites
Trying to move forward with all his might
But still they creep into his present
All the memories that he’s grown to resent
He is made of yesterday’s tears
As he works his way through all his fears

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Stronger than this

You’re stronger than this, she told herself. This is nothing. This is barely suffering. But the ache in her chest argued that notion. She congratulated herself for falling in love, but despised him for having succeeded in winning her heart because now he was gone and she was left with shattered pieces of what used to be her full self. She didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect someone like him to reach the cold dark corners of someone like her. For years, she kept her heart under lock and key but he had always been good at breaking and entering so why did she think her heart would be safe from him. She sighed, a long pained sigh. She missed him.

You’re stronger than this, she repeated to herself. This isn’t the end of the world. But it felt like her world was crashing all around her, as if a great bomb had been dropped which left her trying to maneuver through the ruins. She envied other girls who could suffer beautifully. They’d stylishly surrender to the pain, grieving and mourning, and looking perfect as they did it. She was a mess. She hadn’t showered in days. Her breath was practically toxic. Her hair in knots from the neglect. She pathetically let herself go maybe so her outside would mirror the unglamorous mess of her insides..continue reading