10:01 PM

Everyone is laughing but I just don’t get the joke

Maybe I’m too young for it. Maybe I’m too old for it

They’re laughing and smiling as if they’re under a spell

But I seem to be immune to it

I’m trying to find the humor in it

Trying to see what they see

But I’m blind to it. It’s just not funny

And then I realize…the joke’s on me

 

Still trying

He was trying. He felt he was in a constant state of trying. But he didn’t plan on giving up. It wasn’t in his nature. He’d keep trying until the All Mighty told him to stop. This time he was trying to find his way out of the fog. It was only a breakup but it felt like a death. It was the pain of a death. He supposed that something had died in a sense…his relationship. But that seemed so trivial and made the pain incomprehensible. It hurt way too much to simply be the end of a relationship. Perhaps because there was never a real end. He had found no closure. “I’ll call you.” She said. But she never did. He waited. In between waiting he tried to go on with his life as usual. Now he was trying to find his way back to the living. A part of him died when it all ended. Now he was trying to…continue reading

Big Lies

She stared dumbfounded as she watched the last lie fall from his lips. Is he still pulling this crap with me? Does he still think I’m stupid enough to believe him? Truth is…he did. She’d been foolish for months. What was one more lie on top of so many others? It wouldn’t break her heart. It was already broken. Truth is…she was more angry at herself.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. She did feel ashamed. The biggest lies being told were the ones she told herself. Lies about how he’ll change. Just give him one more chance, or ten. Lies about how she was the only one. The others don’t have what we have. They don’t know him like I do. They don’t love him like I do. Lies about how he wasn’t using her. He leans on me because he needs me. He needs me. He needs me and I need him. Truth is…she lied to herself way more than he had ever lied to her….continue reading

Stronger than this

You’re stronger than this, she told herself. This is nothing. This is barely suffering. But the ache in her chest argued that notion. She congratulated herself for falling in love, but despised him for having succeeded in winning her heart because now he was gone and she was left with shattered pieces of what used to be her full self. She didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect someone like him to reach the cold dark corners of someone like her. For years, she kept her heart under lock and key but he had always been good at breaking and entering so why did she think her heart would be safe from him. She sighed, a long pained sigh. She missed him.

You’re stronger than this, she repeated to herself. This isn’t the end of the world. But it felt like her world was crashing all around her, as if a great bomb had been dropped which left her trying to maneuver through the ruins. She envied other girls who could suffer beautifully. They’d stylishly surrender to the pain, grieving and mourning, and looking perfect as they did it. She was a mess. She hadn’t showered in days. Her breath was practically toxic. Her hair in knots from the neglect. She pathetically let herself go maybe so her outside would mirror the unglamorous mess of her insides..continue reading

First date

The day seeps into his bones like water to the  earth. He is drenched in memories of her. The things she said; the things she did became a part of him like his own veins. Days were made for her and so was he. He felt his sole existence was validated by the hours and minutes he spent with her. It could not have been long enough: the day. Tomorrow. She promised tomorrow as though it was hers alone to give away. He would wait, patiently, for the next day; the next date.

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Tom and the dragon

Deep in the valley where the river runs red
Lives a green eyed dragon everyone dreads
If you get too close he’ll bite off your head
Best to stay indoors instead

But this advice Tom did not heed
He rode to the valley on his fastest steed
For tom was a man made of greed
The dragon’s riches he wanted indeed

He wished to slay the dragon and take his gold
The village called him stupid and bold
Tom was a fool truth be told
But he wanted to impress…continue reading

Little white lies and streaks of tears

whiteliestears

She is made of little white lies and streaks of tears that haven’t quite dried. The truth never felt comfortable on her tongue. She’s been swallowing it down since she was young. Born to a mother with a very weak will and a father who lived from pill to pill, she learned that being human means you’ll never be perfect.

Somewhere in her eyes there’s a glimmer of truth and she honestly does want to love herself more. But she can’t see past the flaws so she lies to cover them up. She pretends she’s not hurt, acts as if nothing bothers her. But she can’t hide that sad look in her eyes or the little tears that seem to always escape. She can’t hide her broken heart, no matter how pretty her smile is.

She is made of little white lies and streaks of tears. She searches for her honest self in a dishonest world.

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Carnival Gal

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She is made of candy floss

And bubblegum gloss

Sweet and sixteen

She makes the others green

Life with her is like a ride

No one knows what’s buried inside

The fun house isn’t so fun

She can’t rely on anyone

Still she smiles like it’s painted on

Putting on a show for everyone