They are you

 

Life occurs in little steps. Though there may be great leaps you must take from time to time, the majority of what your life becomes happens as a result of little, unnoticed, almost insignificant moments. But they’re not insignificant are they? They are you.

They are your breakfasts, the movie you chose to see last weekend, the shoes you wore out from your morning runs, the posters on your bedroom wall, the crush you never revealed, the seat you pick on the bus, the first text you ever sent, the spill on the rug you could never get out, the scent of your first love on your clothes, the dance you decided to sit out, the alarm you sleep through, the first day of school, the last day of work before your dream vacation, the swing set your father would push you on, the first curfew you broke, the side of the bed you always sleep on, that perfect dream you had a month ago, the dog that always barks you down when you pass by, the chill of the wind as you realize summer is ending, the jeans that no longer fit, your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant, the clock ticking in the background as you try to finish a mountain of work, the scratchy feeling in your throat when you feel a cold coming on, the greeting of your furry friend, the anticipated dawn on Christmas, the compliment on your new haircut, the deep feeling of missing someone in the same room as you, the fear of telling someone how you really feel, the sigh after a hard day as you wind down, the yawn that comes when you’re bored, that birthday where you felt rushed to put your life together, that quick text to say you’re on your way, days spent indoors wondering what everyone else is doing, the disappointed feeling of working so hard and getting nothing in return, the first real fight with your first real friend, the feeling that brushes your heart when someone you care about smiles…because of you.

And day by day these little moments that no one notices but us shapes us into these beings we call humans. We are little things, doing little things, that one day becomes a big deal. It’s all life.

Angelface, fall from the sky and fall for me

I close my eyes and dream of you to take me away.

You tear up my sanity like a hurricane.

I like to watch your body move, wishing your hands were on me.

Your voice is like the call of an eagle, echoing through my soul.

I’ve invited you to all my solo parties.

Like music, your smile makes my heart dance.

Bring me your fire, burn me alive.

You’ve got me searching every night sky darling, wishing on shooting stars.

I wish your body was mine.

Angelface, fall from the sky and fall for me.

She forgot how to breathe

She watched as the morning light startled out colors from his perfect eyes: colors of green, yellow, brown, and grey all sparkling in wonder. He squinted at the bright light, momentarily hiding his optical gems. She tried to remember how to breathe. He smiled unknowing of the trance he was putting her in; the spellbinding attraction she was feeling in that moment.

They had laid side by side many nights and woke many mornings in innocence. It’s what friends do sometimes, they thought. They would sprinkle into the midnight whispers and suppressed laughter until sleep found them. They would fall asleep as boy and girl, childish and unaware. But last night they grew. They grew up over night and woke as young adults with heart beats singing out a cry of warning. She tried to contain her heart, to slow it, make it girlish and uncaring again. It wouldn’t obey. Her eyes met his eyes and her heart clumsily fell into his arms.

He looked into her eyes, brought his eyes low to her lips and then lower still to her bosom. When did she grow? She was nothing but a child last night. When did she change? He wondered. She swallowed hard; her mouth felt dry; she licked her lips. He licked his in unison. The sun shot aggressively through the window. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead and her neck. He cleared his throat as he stared at the little droplet of sweat on her. She tried to remember to breathe.

His fingers inched towards her. She anticipated his touch. He sighed out from the heat. She looked down at him, up at him, her eyes wandered everywhere as her body remained frozen. His fingers met her forearm, gently stroking it. She smiled away from his eyes. He saw. It was a nervousness smile, a wanting smile. It was encouraging. He shifted his entire body until he was perfectly positioned and drew her into a tender kiss. She forgot how to breathe.

By me

GIF not mine.

I have learned to let my emotions be

I have learned to let my emotions be. I do not try to suppress them or kick-start them. I do not try to wade them off or beg them to stay. They are not my friends, or my enemy. There is no need to feel ashamed for feeling something, or for feeling nothing at all. We don’t have as much control over them as we think. I have given up the battle of trying to control them, and consequently they no longer control me.

Rain Rain Come Again

Rain rain come again

Come and wash away this pain

Let your drops mask my tears

Rain so hard you drown my fears

Please don’t go, no not yet

I don’t care if I’m soaking wet

Tell the sun to stay away

Rain forever and a day

Flood my heart like the sea

Wash away this hurt in me

Rain rain be my friend

Stay until this madness ends

We say we don’t want to die alone

We say we don’t want to die alone, but what we really mean is we don’t want to live alone

We don’t want to spend the holidays alone. We’d like there to be someone to remember our birthdays. It’d be nice to have someone to be there if something amazing happens or if something goes terribly wrong. We want to go on vacation with someone and have someone to cuddle with on rainy nights. We want someone to send us a good morning text, and good night one. Or better yet a good morning and good night kiss. We’d like to be able to talk to someone else, someone we can share our dreams with, our fears too. We want to have someone to take to all those boring functions we get invited to. We want to wake up knowing someone’s happy we’re alive. We’re hoping for someone to experience life with.

It’s life that we’re afraid to face alone, not death.