You’re stronger than this, she told herself. This is nothing. This is barely suffering. But the ache in her chest argued that notion. She congratulated herself for falling in love, but despised him for having succeeded in winning her heart because now he was gone and she was left with shattered pieces of what used to be her full self. She didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect someone like him to reach the cold dark corners of someone like her. For years, she kept her heart under lock and key but he had always been good at breaking and entering so why did she think her heart would be safe from him. She sighed, a long pained sigh. She missed him.
You’re stronger than this, she repeated to herself. This isn’t the end of the world. But it felt like her world was crashing all around her, as if a great bomb had been dropped which left her trying to maneuver through the ruins. She envied other girls who could suffer beautifully. They’d stylishly surrender to the pain, grieving and mourning, and looking perfect as they did it. She was a mess. She hadn’t showered in days. Her breath was practically toxic. Her hair in knots from the neglect. She pathetically let herself go maybe so her outside would mirror the unglamorous mess of her insides..continue reading