The streets are a colorful splendor of gold and silver. A white carpet covers the sidewalk. It is winter. It is January. It is a new year. Some how those two words, new year, give one a different outlook on life. The air smells of hope. It smells of change. You feel as though you have gained a new sense of power. At the stroke of midnight you became a different person. You became new. At least that is how you want to feel. You want to leave the nodus tollens behind and create a plot twist that will stun even you.
That is how I felt for many Januarys. I felt as though I was waking up from a dream into a more sparkling reality, one that suited me better. This year will be better I always said to myself. But why? Why should one change in the calendar suddenly alter your life. It doesn’t. But it gives the surge to alter their own. January, February, May, July, October. It doesn’t matter. Your life can change at any moment. You can decide at any point of time, right now if you wish, to make some great drastic escape from the past and plunge yourself into the existence you felt you are meant to have.
But January makes us feel as though we have some control. We have been given a second chance. You makes lists of all you’ll accomplish, places you’ll go, people you’ll see. You tell yourself that all the troubles of yesterday, are safely locked behind the bars of last year. They can’t reach out and touch you. They won’t spoil things.
I like to fool myself into thinking that I am more self aware, more confident, more motivated come new year. The clock strikes midnight and like a superhero I transform. I am no longer my old self. I am something brilliant, like the fireworks that light up the sky, leaving all in awe.
All I really want however is to be a slightly better version of myself. I want that on a day to day basis. I want to wake up feeling like who I was yesterday would admire who I am today. This doesn’t always happen. I fall back into old habits. I get confused. I second guess myself. I am still me at the strike of midnight. The loud cries of cheer and exuberance doesn’t change a thing about me. But it makes me want to change and that is a start. January is a good place to start.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself just because it is a new year. We are still after all human. We are under construction and that is beautiful. We are beautiful. Life is beautiful. Here’s to you and your beautiful year.