In the show The Office, there is an episode (I believe it is in season 3) where Patrica the Stripper says “secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone.”
I generally tend to agree with that rhyming statement, because most secrets can be hurtful, even if they aren’t meant to. But there are times when a secret can be fun. Having something private, something just for you, isn’t always such a bad thing.
We live in an age where we tend to over share. I’ve read tweets and thought, “the whole world doesn’t need to know that.” We’ve gotten so used to knowing everything our friends and family members are doing that the idea of being “blocked” or not being told what best friend #25 had for lunch makes us feel as if they don’t like us anymore.
Now, I agree I would be a little hurt if my close friend got married and didn’t share it with me, but not everything about our lives have to be shared. In fact, sometimes it can be a good thing to have a little secret.
A marketing friend of mine once said, “don’t share until you’re ready.” He was talking about business ideas, but the advice can be applied to a number of life moments. For instance, sometimes it is a good idea to have a secret project you’re working on. While impute can be helpful, it can also slow things down, or make you second guess yourself.
Dating someone in the secret can also be fun and helpful. I don’t recommend hiding a long term relationship, but when you’ve just met someone, and you’re going through the getting-to-know-you phase, it can be easier to decide whether or not you like the person based on your feelings and not the opinions of friends.
I once talked to a girl who operated two blogs, one was public, the other was private and secret. No one knew about it, not even her family. She said she grew more through writing her secret blog. There could be a number of reasons for this, but one of them could be the freedom to express herself without censorship. Her friends won’t read her “sad day” posts and think she’s depressed nor does she have to worry about a harsh comment.
I could relate to her in a way. I find myself more expressive on blogs that my family/friends don’t know about. It’s not that I don’t want them to see my thoughts and feelings, but sometimes you want to confess, vent, or rejoice about something without a “follow-up” discussion about it.
Whether it’s a secret hiding place, a secret crush, or even a secret wish, sometimes it’s nice to have something private that you only share with yourself.